Time is hard to come by, as every bookdragon knows.
I’ve heard if you look hard enough you can find it for sale in black markets, but the crowd there is a tough one AND DOESN’T CARE ABOUT YOUR READING NEEDS. Rude, I know.
But we still need our reading time! So we shall get it. In whatever way works. Well, with some exceptions, because stealing a time turner is harder than you’d think (not that I’ve tried).
The bottom line is, your favorite fictional people are allowed to be reckless, so why shouldn’t you? (a few reasons, but we don’t care about them).
So here are some reckless ways to get more reading time you should totally
*LIST OF RECKLESS*
#1. Read while walking your dog
Dangers: You may walk into a variety of things, like:
- Moving cars
- Distracted hobbits
#2. Sleep with half your brain, read with the other
One eye open, one closed. Like dolphins!
Dangers: Becoming an actual dolphin. Which is cool and all, but they don’t read.
#3. Don’t sleep at all
Not like you’ve never done it before. Right?
Dangers: Becoming a caffeinated hyperactive slow-minded zombie. They don’t read either. But you’d certainly try.
#4. Get selective amnesia
Having time for something is all about priorities. And sometimes reading can’t be a priority over other things. So get selective amnesia, and forget about all those other things. Problem solved.
Dangers: Forgetting you love ice cream too.
#5. Read while shopping
Dangers: Reading shoppers have been known to knock down entire shelves at the mall. Accidentally or otherwise. As a general rule, avoid books likely to cause emotional breakdowns, and look up every now and then.
#6. Read while driving
But only if you don’t like audiobooks. Let’s not get too crazy here.
Dangers: Books die in car accidents. People too. It’s important to remember that, even if you’re not either.
#7. Ask a librarian to kidnap you
She will bring you cookies and a different book every day. You will never return your books late. It’s a win win arrangement.
Dangers: There’s no way of knowing if she was a kidnapper before you asked. Beware of evil librarians. And creepy backstories.
#8. Hide in a secret bookdragon lair, away from society and all busying things
And make sure to stay there for a really really long time.
Dangers: You’ll miss out on book releases. And a few other, possibly important things.
#9. Read while cooking
If you do get this right, please serve dauntless cake for dessert, and have me over.
Dangers: Setting your book on fire. And your house.
#10. Take over the world and read whenever you want
Dangers: Never mind, the list is too long.
There you go, enough bad ideas to last you the week. If you try any of these and it goes wrong… Please don’t blame me.