A Handy Guide To Death By Books

Books are dangerous things.

Don’t believe me? Hold on. I’ll throw some proof at you ☠️☠️

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2018-04-01-14-05-www.theatlantic.com


2018-04-01-14-10-twitter.com


2018-04-01-15-58-aeon.co


2018-04-01-16-00-www.goodreads.com


2018-04-01-16-08-paperfury.com

Source: Paperfury


Lord Walsingham’s servants found him in bed one morning in 1831, burnt to a crispThe Family Monitor assigned Lord Walsingham a trendy death. He must have fallen asleep reading in bed, its editors concluded, a notorious practice that was practically synonymous with death-by-fire. Source: The Atlantic


2018-04-01-15-13-www.goodreads.com

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So there. No wonder our lives are crazy.

But of course, to top things off, we still have… TBR’s. And the many ways they can end our lives while also making us foolishly happy. So to help you stay on the somewhat safer side of things… Here you go! 10 different ways in which your TBR pile/list/whatever can kill you and everything around you and how to *maybe* get away with avoiding them.

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You will be crushed when the pile of books in the corner decides to yell Geronimo and fall on your distracted self.

How to avoid this: Spread the books out on the floor.

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You will trip over your floorspread of books and fall to your death.

How to avoid this: Pile the books up in the corner.

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You will notice how much your TBR has grown and have a heart attack.

How to avoid this: What the eyes don’t see, the heart can’t feel. Hide it under a bedsheet.

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You will conquer the heights of your TBR mountain. Then fall to your demise.

How to avoid this: Get off the books, please.

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You will read too much, get too little sleep and lose your mind. This will be followed by your untimely death fighting a dragon lampost.

How to avoit this: Take a break every 45 minutes and vent the crazy out. By screaming out the window.

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You will be buried in a book avalanche after wailing your book-caused heartache at the walls.

How to avoid this: Scream only on the inside. Avoid loud noises. Use sign language as often as you can.

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You will find yourself trapped in your own room by several book barricades. With no food in sight.

How to avoid this: Keep a hidden snack stash with you at all times.

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Your pile will start getting too big and will keep you up at night out of fear until you lose your mind and forget how to live.

How to avoid this: Move half the pile to your sister’s room. Shared risk = less risk.

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Your giant pile will collapse, knock a glass of water on your nightstand, shortcircuit your nightstand lamp and set your house on fire. You will not make it out of the room in time.

How to avoid this: Cut your house off the power supply.

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You will read through 60% of your TBR. And die of old age. With two million books unread.

How to avoid this: You can’t. It will happen.

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Happy April’s Fools day!

Don’t let the books kill you. If they try to kill your feelings, though, then by all means, give them free rein to destroy you, because that’s what we’re here for.

(Also, happy Easter!! This is an odd combination)

Talk

What kind of book death are you most likely to have? How do you avoid being crushed by your TBR? And have you pulled any April’s fools pranks?

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21 thoughts on “A Handy Guide To Death By Books

Add yours

  1. All of those are probably valiant ways to go considering they involve books!! However, my demise will be unconventional. Someone else’s many books will trip me up, I’ll be crushed by another’s TBR or perhaps their books will purposefully shortcircuit my lamp, starting a fire and then blocking my door so I can’t eacape. You may ask, “Why would someone else’s books do that to you?” I’ll tell you. It’s because they want to be read; they want to be the only thing in someone else’s life, yet I’ve managed to sneak in unnoticed by the books so far. Only time will tell how long I last…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Aha I loved this post! It was amusing, I’ll probably die of old age to be honest…although I’m still holding onto this hope that we can read forever in whatever comes next *fingers crossed* My TBR is well behaved mostly because I only own 62 unread books and they’re on shelves…so short of leaping of the shelves to attack me they can cry on the shelves at me. The rest of my TBR is ‘imaginary’ so to speak its on goodreads and I have a mental TBR of books I want to get to. So those two may very well destroy me xD

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think the death by reading too much and not enough sleep and not living life because you’re in a book world would be the way I would die. Or my TBR pile toppling over. My TBR piles are in several piles but if it was all in one… I’d definitely be dead xD

    Liked by 1 person

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