Books are dangerous things.
Don’t believe me? Hold on. I’ll throw some proof at you ☠️☠️
Lord Walsingham’s servants found him in bed one morning in 1831, burnt to a crisp. The Family Monitor assigned Lord Walsingham a trendy death. He must have fallen asleep reading in bed, its editors concluded, a notorious practice that was practically synonymous with death-by-fire. Source: The Atlantic
So there. No wonder our lives are crazy.
But of course, to top things off, we still have… TBR’s. And the many ways they can end our lives while also making us foolishly happy. So to help you stay on the somewhat safer side of things… Here you go! 10 different ways in which your TBR pile/list/whatever can kill you
and everything around you and how to *maybe* get away with avoiding them.
You will be crushed when the pile of books in the corner decides to yell Geronimo and fall on your distracted self.
How to avoid this: Spread the books out on the floor.
You will trip over your floorspread of books and fall to your death.
How to avoid this: Pile the books up in the corner.
You will notice how much your TBR has grown and have a heart attack.
How to avoid this: What the eyes don’t see, the heart can’t feel. Hide it under a bedsheet.
You will conquer the heights of your TBR mountain. Then fall to your demise.
How to avoid this: Get off the books, please.
You will read too much, get too little sleep and lose your mind. This will be followed by your untimely death fighting a
How to avoit this: Take a break every 45 minutes and vent the crazy out. By screaming out the window.
You will be buried in a book avalanche after wailing your book-caused heartache at the walls.
How to avoid this: Scream only on the inside. Avoid loud noises. Use sign language as often as you can.
You will find yourself trapped in your own room by several book barricades. With no food in sight.
How to avoid this: Keep a hidden snack stash with you at all times.
Your pile will start getting too big and will keep you up at night out of fear until you lose your mind and forget how to live.
How to avoid this: Move half the pile to your sister’s room. Shared risk = less risk.
Your giant pile will collapse, knock a glass of water on your nightstand, shortcircuit your nightstand lamp and set your house on fire. You will not make it out of the room in time.
How to avoid this: Cut your house off the power supply.
You will read through 60% of your TBR. And die of old age. With two million books unread.
How to avoid this: You can’t. It will happen.
Happy April’s Fools day!
Don’t let the books kill you. If they try to kill your feelings, though, then by all means, give them free rein to destroy you, because that’s what we’re here for.
(Also, happy Easter!! This is an odd combination)
What kind of book death are you most likely to have? How do you avoid being crushed by your TBR? And have you pulled any April’s fools pranks?