Books are dangerous things.
Don’t believe me? Hold on. I’ll throw some proof at you ☠️☠️
Source: Paperfury
Lord Walsingham’s servants found him in bed one morning in 1831, burnt to a crisp. The Family Monitor assigned Lord Walsingham a trendy death. He must have fallen asleep reading in bed, its editors concluded, a notorious practice that was practically synonymous with death-by-fire. Source: The Atlantic
So there. No wonder our lives are crazy.
But of course, to top things off, we still have… TBR’s. And the many ways they can end our lives while also making us foolishly happy. So to help you stay on the somewhat safer side of things… Here you go! 10 different ways in which your TBR pile/list/whatever can kill you and everything around you and how to *maybe* get away with avoiding them.
You will be crushed when the pile of books in the corner decides to yell Geronimo and fall on your distracted self.
How to avoid this: Spread the books out on the floor.
You will trip over your floorspread of books and fall to your death.
How to avoid this: Pile the books up in the corner.
You will notice how much your TBR has grown and have a heart attack.
How to avoid this: What the eyes don’t see, the heart can’t feel. Hide it under a bedsheet.
You will conquer the heights of your TBR mountain. Then fall to your demise.
How to avoid this: Get off the books, please.
You will read too much, get too little sleep and lose your mind. This will be followed by your untimely death fighting a dragon lampost.
How to avoit this: Take a break every 45 minutes and vent the crazy out. By screaming out the window.
You will be buried in a book avalanche after wailing your book-caused heartache at the walls.
How to avoid this: Scream only on the inside. Avoid loud noises. Use sign language as often as you can.
You will find yourself trapped in your own room by several book barricades. With no food in sight.
How to avoid this: Keep a hidden snack stash with you at all times.
Your pile will start getting too big and will keep you up at night out of fear until you lose your mind and forget how to live.
How to avoid this: Move half the pile to your sister’s room. Shared risk = less risk.
Your giant pile will collapse, knock a glass of water on your nightstand, shortcircuit your nightstand lamp and set your house on fire. You will not make it out of the room in time.
How to avoid this: Cut your house off the power supply.
You will read through 60% of your TBR. And die of old age. With two million books unread.
How to avoid this: You can’t. It will happen.
Happy April’s Fools day!
Don’t let the books kill you. If they try to kill your feelings, though, then by all means, give them free rein to destroy you, because that’s what we’re here for.
(Also, happy Easter!! This is an odd combination)
What kind of book death are you most likely to have? How do you avoid being crushed by your TBR? And have you pulled any April’s fools pranks?
bookstormgirl 
I’m going to die from old age deciding which book to start with to be honest.
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Then I’ll die from extra old age when I’m halfway through my 60% 😋
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Gotta say, you’ll rock the old Merlin like look. But you should NOT die twice, okay?? 😜
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All of those are probably valiant ways to go considering they involve books!! However, my demise will be unconventional. Someone else’s many books will trip me up, I’ll be crushed by another’s TBR or perhaps their books will purposefully shortcircuit my lamp, starting a fire and then blocking my door so I can’t eacape. You may ask, “Why would someone else’s books do that to you?” I’ll tell you. It’s because they want to be read; they want to be the only thing in someone else’s life, yet I’ve managed to sneak in unnoticed by the books so far. Only time will tell how long I last…
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Oh, I’m 100% sure that whoever owns the books will defend you with her life 🙃
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Tell her to defend me without the cost of her life, at that point it’d be pointless. But tell her thanks. 😉
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I make no promises 🤐
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Aha I loved this post! It was amusing, I’ll probably die of old age to be honest…although I’m still holding onto this hope that we can read forever in whatever comes next *fingers crossed* My TBR is well behaved mostly because I only own 62 unread books and they’re on shelves…so short of leaping of the shelves to attack me they can cry on the shelves at me. The rest of my TBR is ‘imaginary’ so to speak its on goodreads and I have a mental TBR of books I want to get to. So those two may very well destroy me xD
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My goodreads TBR is the most likely to hire a hitman too. I’ve been bribing it to stay calm. So good luck to the both of us!
And so glad you liked it!! 😄
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Readers live dangerous lives! So many perils in the life of a book nerd, I really think we deserve more sympathy! 😂 this post made me laugh a lot
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Oh we do, the things we go through 😂 THAT MAKES MY DAY 😆😆
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This post is hilarious. And of course handy. But of course if you are like me, hoarding those e-books you might still live. But you will have crossed only 60% (or lesser) of the TBR when you die anyway.
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Thank you!! Oh I’d be careful still, ebooks have easier access to online hitman for hire ads…
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Fun read. I’m planning on not dying at all. Now all I need to figure out is if I want to be a vampire or create the elixir of life.
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Oh great plan. I think it depends, would you rather be expected to act like a normal human, or spend your time in the shadows reading as much as you want??
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This post is EVERYTHING
My most likely death atm is drowning in my own tears as I stare at my current overdue ARC list.
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DON’T LOOK AT IT 😱 And find some gillyweed. Asap.
Thank you so much! 💕
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I think the death by reading too much and not enough sleep and not living life because you’re in a book world would be the way I would die. Or my TBR pile toppling over. My TBR piles are in several piles but if it was all in one… I’d definitely be dead xD
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Don’t worry, we’ll survive long enough to *at least* make a dent in those piles 😨😂
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