I’d like to see your spam

Well, this is a very improvised quick post.

Poor miserable thing. So small, yet so full of nonsense.

But let me explain what’s going on – the last two weeks have been crazy busy. I’ve been trying to get a new post up, but JUST CAN’T FIND THE TIME TO FINISH IT!! I’ll try again this weekend, so wish me luck, aaand while I leave you waiting, I thought I’d do a couple things:

First, you now have permission to steal biscuits from that tray over there. If you’ve been doing it already, you can relax, no dragons are burning you alive. People have been worried about this. So, we got that sorted out. SECOND, I have an odd request for you.

I want your spam comments.

Now, if I’ve been bugging you on Twitter, you may already know what this is about. If not, keeeep reading and you’ll be even more weirded out, in a very bullet-listy kinda way. Please, thank you, and you’re welcome.

What’s happening:

  • I’m writing a post with spam and sass in it.
  • You can be in it. If you want.
  • We’re not really setting stuff on fire, but if you want to scream “LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION”, I won’t judge.
  • Singing and magic tricks are optional.

What it’ll actually look like:

  • Hold your horses and worried looks, I’m giving you the sciency stuff.
  • Spam comments = Annoying Uselessness
  • Spam comments + Sense of Humor + Sassy Replies = Precious Gold + Getting Back at Spammers + Fun, Maybe + Unrestrained Possibly Dangerous Meaningless Stuff
  • Ok, that’s not actually helpful, let me just… explain…
  • The post will be a bunch of odd spam comments from our blogs, with replies from us, because we’re nice and we comment back. Except for this time, we’re sassy while we’re at it. So we dig up spam comments from our spam folder, write the reply they’ll never get, fake awe at our own genius, and that’s it, we’re done.
  • I’ve written some of my own already, buuut I’d love to see what you make too, so you can just send me one or two or three, and I’ll put them in and link back to you.
  • And here you go. A whole thread of demonstration. Click on it for the full stuff.

 

What you have to do now:

  • Either screenshot or copy-paste your most sass-able spam comments.
  • Don’t have any right now? Just you wait, they’ll be there in two days.
  • If you’ve never seen your spam comments (I was shocked when I found out mine existed), just check the “Comments” tab in your WordPress dashboard. Then take a deep breath and look for “Spam”. It’ll be in there, somewhere.
  • If you screenshot the comments, make sure your tab is narrower than full screen, or they’ll be all fuzzy and unreadable!! I’ve made this mistake. It’s a bad mistake.
  • Remember spam’s deleted automatically after 15 days. This is now or never.
  • Once you have your spam, write a nice witty, sassy, salty or funny reply to it. The crazier the better. Don’t hold punches back.
  • Theeeen you send it to me – in the comments, on Twitter, on Discord, by email, or in this handy form I just made for ya. BAM.

leaves

 

 

 

leaves

When this odd thing is actually happening:

  • I have no clue.
  • AAAAAAAAHH.
  • Turns out most people obliterate spam fast, so it depends on when I get enough of them from you lovely people. I have 3 right now (THANK YOU KRISTEN!!), plus my own.
  • If you submit any, you’ll get a ping when the post is up. Plus a box of imaginary chocolates.
  • So you can just… Send some whenever. Until I write “OKAY, THIS IS CLOSED NOW” on top of the post. Then it’s too late and the world ends. Maybe. Okay, it doesn’t, we’re fine.

Talk

Have you ever read your spam comments? And… how are you?? I’m okay. Not dead at all. Just fine. *collapses*

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18 thoughts on “I’d like to see your spam

Add yours

  1. Hahaha, this sounds like such a fun idea! I just would rather not have my spam comments actually showing up on my blog. Do we need to ACTUALLY comment our response, or just come up with one and send it to you? Because I’m sure I could do that… I just don’t want spam cluttering up my comment section.

    Looking forward to seeing the post when you do it!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Haha, yup, I’m a daily spam deleter! But this post is funny to me because one of the most common ones I’ve been getting lately is “I see you don’t update your blog often” witch makes me LAUGH because lolol I’m sorry 5 days/week isn’t often? Okay then. 😂

    I’ll have to dig through my trash and see if I have any particularly original ones.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. OMG this is pure genius XD I actually thought about replying to some of my spam comments on occasion and I might have actually done it in the past (some are really good, ok, you can’t really tell!!) but I’ll definitely be sending some of mine through your lovely form THIS INSTANT because I want that post to happen. I want to share in all the fun with everyone hahaha
    Inspiring idea, my dear, you are a riot ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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