Look, once in a while, some strange things happen.
The moon turns blue and then it’s suddenly on fire, white stags run on lava creeks, and someone decides that it’s a good idea to eat Oreos for breakfast. That someone totally wasn’t me…
But weirder still is when a dragon like me gets a year older and, at age 21, can still get away with using a picture from when she was 12… for her college registration. Like, no one gets how this is possible. I’m starting to think I used some illusion spell on the girl who made my file, because I look *at least* like I’m 16. That baby-face picture shouldn’t have fooled anyone. And yet here we are.
But all this is just to say, hi, it’s my birthday, and I look anything but 21!
I feel like I should try to convince you that I eat Oreos for breakfast, and not fairy souls to keep me eternally young. (It’s neither. I mean, there’s been exceptions. But neither for the most part.)
But I trust you not to lynch me without proper evidence!! So, mysterious youngen looks and breakfast aside, I had to find a way to celebrate this day of the dragon other than just eating pizza, AND I decided to have you guys write a post for me. Muahaha. This is the time when you get to spill all the dark secrets I didn’t even know I had.
So here it is, a very thorough, dubiously accurate profile of me, your queen (or so I’ve been told). It goes well with cake, if you feel like trying that. Definitely not with tea, though. Never tea.
Okay, so, kicking this thing off with a very normal, unsurprising question! … What planet am I from?
You are from Planet Dragon. Because dragons are cool, and you're cool, sooooo... naturally you must be from Planet Dragon. (Which is totally definitely most certainly a real planet.)
— iris 🌈 (@IrisIsABlob) January 27, 2019
Ohhhh we need to find this place, Iris. We belong there.
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1090726888824365056Nope. It’s why I left, it got lonely boring.
Krypton!...because, girl, you're SUPER! 😘
— Anna Reel (@TheReelAnna) January 26, 2019
Awwww, you’re too sweet, now I don’t know what to saaaaaay
You're from a planet called "your brain." I've heard it's a cool place and there's like 7 billion others of them.
— Corrin🩷💜💙 (@corrinleivan) January 27, 2019
Only 7 billion?? What about… The cats? And the aliens? And… Goldfish? What happened to them????
GLE-2016-BLG-1195Lb ... cause your Wintry 😉
— Sunscented (@Sunscented) February 18, 2019
It was freezing cold… I wanted to know summer… Before the ice seeped into my bones 😬
Evidently you're from the coolest planet in the universe that is so dang awesome it doesn't even have a name 😂😉
— Lost 🍃 (@ticktockcrocky) January 27, 2019
Oh, we need to fix that, let’s name it… Uh… No. I got nothing 😬 (And you’re the awesome one!!)
Vegeta
— Alex🔥 (@alexdeithwen) January 27, 2019
It’s the home planet of the Saiyan race in Dragon Ball.
But like Krypton, it does get destroyed 😬
And that’s why you’re here. Destined to find the Dragon Balls and wish your planet back to existence.
You’d think I’d find this tragic, but, I’m just here thinking all this time I could swap hair colors and never did 🤨
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1089342173814968322Uhhhhhhhh, okay, makes sense, and we’re twins, so, you were there too? Is that what made us… Some cool kind of weird?
Moving on to a very scientific assessment of my personality, if I was a book/movie/video game character… Who would I be?
Hmm... Hermione. Pretty much the same as you.
— Corrin🩷💜💙 (@corrinleivan) January 27, 2019
Oh I can get behind that, thouuuugh maybe not as much as I would have a few years ago. But it’ll do! It’s LeviOsa, not LeviosA!
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1089697970306588677Funny story, that’s my friend/twin’s nickname. He’s reading this right now, and he approves.
XS from the the Flash (tv show)
— Luke Peterson (@Luke_Peterson14) January 29, 2019
Ooh, I got super speed. Give me a second, I’m doing a few laps around the world…
Kung fu panda!
— Mimi (@ChaosQueeny_999) January 30, 2019
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS??? I’m the kung fu dragon warrior. This is so fitting, it almost makes up for all the dumplings I’d have to eat… Almost. Still, not quite.
You are my side-kick Lightning Girl in black leathers with a mind-link and zombified cat army... how can you forget this? ...
— Sunscented (@Sunscented) February 18, 2019
You need coffee.
Can you get one for me to?
Kthxbai 😁
Ohhhhhh… Right. I’m sorry, the zombie cats got to me, but I remember now. These leathers are way too comfy for being… Leathers 🤨
Spiderman Homecoming’s MJ 😁 pic.twitter.com/Ak4GY1MMgk
— Alex🔥 (@alexdeithwen) January 27, 2019
I watched the movie just because of this, and I APPROVE. Look at this sassy girl being a book rebel. She’s too great.
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1090725159089197056That is accurate. Always look over your shoulder.
Next order of business, what genre would I fit best into? Fantasy, dystopia, romance, Sci-Fi… Youuuu choose.
Fantasy. You're in the genre 3 times already, if not more.
— Corrin🩷💜💙 (@corrinleivan) February 3, 2019
I’m obviously very experienced… After not dying in any of those three times… Fantasy trilogies are rough.
Hmm well I was looking up genres cuz I thought I had the perfect one but google says book review is a genre sooo...
— Isaiah (@SwampydeHippo) February 2, 2019
Book reviews?? Sounds like sass, screams and fangirling. I’ll fit right in.
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1091837054160457730Not gonna lie, I think that gif scarred me for life. But, yes to the… rest of it…
I'm ab it torn between dystopian and sci-fi. Just because. Also... it's before the coffee!!!
— Sunscented (@Sunscented) February 18, 2019
I would give an opinion on this, but I’m more worried about your lack of coffee right now, are you okay??
YA dystopia, where you’re too busy fighting for your life to think about boys and everyone thinks it’s weird that you don’t, so you pretend to like one in order to survive.
— Alex🔥 (@alexdeithwen) February 3, 2019
...wait, that’s Hunger Games.
Sounds just like me, and theeen it really doesn’t. How about this, everyone *thinks* that I’m pretending for their sake, then, plot twist, it was all real AND they’re going down anyway.
A "romantic" comedy in which you spend the entire time trying to get into the CORRECT genre, which is (obviously) fantasy.
— iris 🌈 (@IrisIsABlob) February 3, 2019
I can just *see* you being like "No this is the wrong genre! I want to be in fantasy!" and spending an entire (very comedic) book trying to fix that 😂
— iris 🌈 (@IrisIsABlob) February 3, 2019
Oh my goodness, that sounds so much like something I’d do, I can’t even 🙈 😂
Okay, tell me, what is my backstory?
You studied the ancient art of the dragon for centuries but then thought “meh, I wanna write funny stuff” and now the world is doomed cause everyone was pretty much counting on Dragongirl to save us. But, like, I get it. You do you, girl.
— Alex🔥 (@alexdeithwen) February 1, 2019
Hmmmmmm, I’m… Sorry? I could always multitask! Right?
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1091100050430849024WHAT????? They told me they found me in a dumpster after a lab accident, and you’re saying that’s a lie??? (That conversation actually happened, make of that what you will.)
You were born somewhere, grew up somewhere else, then moved to Brazil and began blogging.
— Corrin🩷💜💙 (@corrinleivan) January 31, 2019
Yes. Space, Spain, then you got it wrong, I’m actually at the end of the world. Right by that waterfall… That falls off the planet…
One day you thought that you should get super powers so you did.
— Isaiah (@SwampydeHippo) February 1, 2019
It’s the best superhero backstory there is.
Absolutely. No weird accidents… Just went a got ’em.
A dragon breathed you into life with its fire, and raised you for a while (and fed you chocolate), but then it had to send you away because people wanted your magical fire abilities, so the dragon sent you to live with some humans, who concealed your fiery powers (even from you)
— iris 🌈 (@IrisIsABlob) February 1, 2019
Oh… So *that* is how I sprung superpowers at will. It all makes sense now. And my parents knew about this too?? The plot thickens.
Choose me a sidekick! Who should never leave my side?
A chameleon! They’re long sticky tongues can get you stuff that you can’t reach pic.twitter.com/vLpsGfEkVn
— Alex🔥 (@alexdeithwen) January 29, 2019
That’ll be so useful. Fear me, high shelves, I’ll reach you now!
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1090724051184693249I’ll take it, thank you very much.
A librarian to always a book ready for you.
— Luke Peterson (@Luke_Peterson14) January 29, 2019
Sounds like a great partnership, does she have to go to work still, or can we just… hang?
*ahem* I thought you were **my** side-kick......
— Sunscented (@Sunscented) February 18, 2019
Are you leaving me? OR... are we going to be riding around in a motorcycle with a side car.... with a side car... ?
We’ll have two sidecars, obviously! People can’t know we’re alter egos, they’d try to stop our plans 🤷♀️
Hmm... Uhm... I think I'm the best candidate 😜
— Corrin🩷💜💙 (@corrinleivan) January 29, 2019
And how will thou prove thyself?? There’s an initiation ritual, of course. You must pass it.
A chocolate monster that will faithfully serve you, and also always have a steady supply of chocolate for you. (Why are half my answers about chocolate?? 😂)
— iris 🌈 (@IrisIsABlob) January 29, 2019
Where can I find this beautiful beast???
Baby turtle that believes he's one of the ninja turtles
— Mimi (@ChaosQueeny_999) January 30, 2019
Yes. So much yes. I love it already.
Your twin silly 😋
— Isaiah (@SwampydeHippo) January 29, 2019
HE WINS. Meet my twin. Mafia consultant, bodyguard, second in command, everything. You wanna kill me, you have to go through him first. Then he kills you. Or I do. Either way, you’re dead.
And now onto deeper, more philosophical matters… You open my fridge. WHAT’S IN IT??
Cheese. A whole ton of cheese.
— iris 🌈 (@IrisIsABlob) January 30, 2019
Sounds perfect to me!
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1090722642204770317I’m kind of… More worried about whoever’s holding the banana’s hand… Than the banana itself. Do I have people in my fridge?
Leftover Spanish Tortilla, an acai bowl, ingredients for someone to make chilli that hopefully won’t be too spicy, an ice cream cone that warps in and out of reality, and a cherry flavoured Capri-Sun to quench your thirst for blood
— Alex🔥 (@alexdeithwen) January 29, 2019
All the essentials, obviously. Gotta keep the blood thirst at bay. Know anyone who can make chili, though?
Maggot-y bread, 3 day old boxed-recipe mac & cheese.... and beiju.
— Sunscented (@Sunscented) February 18, 2019
Wow, that’s bad, guess I’ll have to live on beiju… *not complaining*
Cookies. Chocolate chip. And they're hot.
— Corrin🩷💜💙 (@corrinleivan) January 29, 2019
Help, the fridge is broken 😱
Milk
— Mimi (@ChaosQueeny_999) January 30, 2019
This is the most normal answer so far, and YET… It isn’t true 🤷🏻♀️
Your shoulder...
— Isaiah (@SwampydeHippo) January 30, 2019
🤔
OH MY WORD, I’M FRANKENSTEIN
I suppose my refrigerated shoulder can’t really kill me, so on to the real threats. What’s my fatal flaw?
Your killer good looks accidentally killing people...
— Isaiah (@SwampydeHippo) January 31, 2019
I’mmmmmm… Very sorry. Truly. SORRY.
A blindspot. Without 360 degree vision you are bound to be assassinated. Usually I’d say “always keep your back against a wall” but we both know that’s not a safer alternative.
— Alex🔥 (@alexdeithwen) January 31, 2019
Well, that’s what bodyguards are for, why do you think I hired yo—?? Oh. I see it now. You cold-blooded traitor.
You are WEAK when it comes to chocolate. (I literally cannot be creative all my answers are about chocolate. WHY??)
— iris 🌈 (@IrisIsABlob) January 31, 2019
Ha! Joke’s on you, I haven’t had chocolate innnnn… In… Okay, fine. You’re right.
Hamartia = Not enough coffee.
— Sunscented (@Sunscented) February 18, 2019
Now *that* might kill me…
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1090836987777638400This… What? Should I stop wearing flip-flops, then? Will they kill me??
Forgetting. It's everyone's fatal flaw. Even mine. What was the question again?
— Corrin🩷💜💙 (@corrinleivan) January 31, 2019
Oh, you’re very wrong there. My AI is equipped with flawless memory. Ask anyone. *robotic wink*
Alright, name my kingdom! And, I don’t know, pretend this is phrased like a question
Your kingdom is a place locked away in a variety of barriers, called your brain. You're the only person to ever go there.
— Corrin🩷💜💙 (@corrinleivan) February 6, 2019
I wish. I can’t get the voices to leave 🤪
I fear the things that go on in Luana Land
— Isaiah (@SwampydeHippo) February 6, 2019
Me… Too…
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1092999361812930560Oh, definitely. That frat boy is long dead.
I got nothing. Wait not true. In my quest to name your realm I did manage to name a dinosaur for you... Luanadon. Works... right?
— Sunscented (@Sunscented) February 18, 2019
I say Bluejeans takes the win! Now someone bring me coffee ... STAT please!
YES!!! I can finally be a dino wrangler, this is so exciting I can’t even—-!!! Oh. Right. Coffee. I’m coming!
In a castle made of books, Queen Luana watches over her kingdom of Libraria. A tournament is about to begin, with the winner being crowned as “guest blogger”. Scribes and poets battle with wits and prose for the honour of being featured in Luana’s next post.
— Alex🔥 (@alexdeithwen) February 6, 2019
YES! I’m totally on board with this. Duel sign-ups in the comments!! Let all the wit loose! (Fights to the death are against regulation, please and thank you. If you want to messily kill someone, it can’t be near the books.)
And here’s the hardest question so far, how old am I?? (If you actually know, ignore that, just tell me what you’d have guessed)
But I KNOW how old you are.
— iris 🌈 (@IrisIsABlob) February 2, 2019
YOU KNOW NOTHING!! Okay, I guess you do…
From what you look like 16
— Isaiah (@SwampydeHippo) February 2, 2019
From how you act more like hmm 20? Random guess there 😋
What a… Completely uninformed guess… You clearly don’t know anything either…
*looks at notes that totally aren't stalker-like* I'll go with an even 20.
— Corrin🩷💜💙 (@corrinleivan) February 1, 2019
Shiny, keeping notes on me is cheating!!!!!!
19 years
— Mimi (@ChaosQueeny_999) February 2, 2019
Ooh, a true guess. Close enough 😁
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1091504134019260417Oh, that’s Sun’s thing, I’m not skilled enough to copy her fae ways.
Not a day over 112 ... no wait... that's me.
— Sunscented (@Sunscented) February 18, 2019
Okay, okay, I know we’re so alike that it’s confusing sometimes, but really, you need your coffee!!
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1091774742816849927YES. THAT’S IT. THANKS FOR SHARING THIS KNOWLEDGE.
Time is relative.
— Alex🔥 (@alexdeithwen) February 2, 2019
You feel like your in your early twenties.
To strangers you look like a teenager.
To your parents you’ll always be their baby.
Close friends will perceive you as your actual age, but not notice the aging process itself.
Now, that… Explains a lot. Truly.
Time for some regrettable choices… Let’s say I’m getting a tattoo, and you can choose what it’ll be. What… Should it be?
Oh!! The bumblebee riding on the turtles back, surrounded by pink, red and white roses.
— Mimi (@ChaosQueeny_999) January 31, 2019
This is… so very specific. I don’t know what to think. Shock.
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1094997836230475776BEAUTIFUL. I’ll get slow claps for this. All the time.
A dragon on the back of a turtle riding an ant-eater.
— Sunscented (@Sunscented) February 18, 2019
More turtles?? Is this… A trend I’ve missed? Am I joining a secret society by doing this???
Get a tattoo of tigger on your bicep so every time you flex he jumps... really high
— Isaiah (@SwampydeHippo) February 1, 2019
Hmmmmmmmm, you know… It might come as a shock, but I’m not *that* buff, exactly… Just saying.
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1091094572787290112Ouch. On so many levels.
Hmm... A full body tattoo of... yourself.
— Corrin🩷💜💙 (@corrinleivan) January 31, 2019
But, whyyyyyyyyy?
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1091212909143822337Ha, won’t *that* look mysterious when I go to the beach.
Some nonsense writing, and whenever anyone asks you can be all mysterious about what it means, when it fact it's really just gibberish.
— iris 🌈 (@IrisIsABlob) January 31, 2019
Okay, I like this. Why make up a mystic dragon language when you can fake, and get the same result??
The obvious answer would be a bookdragon on your whole back so you can be “the girl with the bookdragon tattoo” but that’s too simple for me.
— Alex🔥 (@alexdeithwen) January 31, 2019
I’ll say “an egg” instead. When you get old and wrinkly, it will look like it’s cracked.
OH MY GOSH, I JUST DIED A THOUSAND TIMES OVER
Oh well, why not keep the wild makeover going… What color should I dye my hair?? This won’t end well, I can feel it
Bright pink. Because I say so.
— iris 🌈 (@IrisIsABlob) February 4, 2019
WELL, WHO AM I TO DISAGREE??
This one pic.twitter.com/ocFz6t7vyB
— San⁷ Face Indigo Astronaut on the Street 💙 (@btsentence) February 4, 2019
Oh that’s pretty. I could rock a pirate mermaid look. Drown sailors at night. Sink ships. That kind of fun stuff.
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1092498059379068930MORE PINK. I’m not so sure about this still, but okay, two votes now.
Camouflage pattern. People will think you’re bald cause your hair will blend in with any background. Fits well with the Chameleon sidekick.
— Alex🔥 (@alexdeithwen) February 4, 2019
??????? This is a good idea… In what universe?? No… I… Nope.
I think a deep turquoise. I've always wanted to do that, but I always chicken out.
— Kristine Donahue (@KristineDonahu7) February 4, 2019
Tell you what, you do it too, and we drown the sailors together. (Don’t analyze this plan too much, it’s terrible.)
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1092579881161052161That’s it! I don’t want to see a flip-flop ever again, I’m done. They’re all going to burn. Someone please bring marshmallows, we have a bonfire.
Ombre. Deep blue at the crown lightening to silver at the ends. You're welcome.
— Sunscented (@Sunscented) February 18, 2019
Perfect! It’ll match my dragon ride. And… soul.
Purple. To spread awareness around. Purple, to show you care. Purple. 💜
— Mimi (@ChaosQueeny_999) February 4, 2019
Hair with a cause, not bad!
I’d say more get some purple highlights, they’re to dye for.
— Isaiah (@SwampydeHippo) February 4, 2019
Oh, you bet I’m dyeing for them already. See? Dyead.
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1094990779515355136 https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1094991686902657024Oh my gosh!! How many enemies to I need for this? Does… blood stick, or will it wash away? These are all weird questions.
Every color known to man. Because then no one can complain, they all got the color they wanted 😁
— Corrin🩷💜💙 (@corrinleivan) February 4, 2019
And THIS is what happens when you try to please everyone. Look at it!! See what you did to me!!
This obviously can’t get any worse now, so let’s cut to the chase… I have a terrible secret. What is it?
You like sniffing socks? 🤔
— Mimi (@ChaosQueeny_999) January 30, 2019
Hmmmmm, that *would* be terrible, but, only my cat does, I promise.
Ooh! It's that you secretly like me😜
— Corrin🩷💜💙 (@corrinleivan) January 27, 2019
*Confused face* *Confused brain* *Confused everything* What am I supposed to do with this??
You're secretly not an evil mastermind at all. In fact, you are sweet and kind.
— iris 🌈 (@IrisIsABlob) January 28, 2019
LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON’T BELIEVE HER!!!!! (Iris, hOw cOuLD YoU?!?!?!)
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1090725043947163648Um… Yeah. It still haunts me. I’m so sorry 😭
I'll never tell. 😏
— Sunscented (@Sunscented) February 18, 2019
*Wipes away a single tear* You’re a true friend!
You have the soul of a fallen dragon trapped inside you that tries to flee its fleshy cage. It is not powerful enough to do so and every attempt at escape only portraits itself by a subtle hand movement, maybe a cough, a twitch in your eye, or other barely noticeable quirks.
— Alex🔥 (@alexdeithwen) January 28, 2019
But you fear that one day, the dragon will escape and wreak havoc
— Alex🔥 (@alexdeithwen) January 28, 2019
This. Is. Too. Much. Yes. Just, yes.
You’re introducing me to some guy Steve. What do you say?
Sup Steve, this is my friend Luana, she's one of the coolest person I know. Be nice to her or I'll kick your bum!
— Mimi (@ChaosQueeny_999) February 2, 2019
I would take that threat seriously, this girl’s fierce.
Hey Steve this is the Luana I’m always talking about, Luana this is a random guy name Steve that I randomly met just to introduce you...
— Isaiah (@SwampydeHippo) February 2, 2019
Oh, you’ve gone to such lengths to do this, I think I owe you one… Hey Steve, you’re not a serial killer, are you?
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1091731747354628097Oh my goodness, I love this too much, aksajkduskduldiodfkjjk
'Steeeeeeeeeeve!' duh.
— Sunscented (@Sunscented) February 18, 2019
Does he… Reply at this point, or run away from us? We can be scary. This could be scary.
So Luana, before I introduce you to this Steve, I gotta say, he's pretty blocky, and he has a girlfriend named Alex, so don't get your hopes up. Now, time to introduce you! So, Steve, *ahem*...
— Corrin🩷💜💙 (@corrinleivan) February 2, 2019
Ehhhhhhh, did I… Did I really need this warning? Yeah? Okay then…
Ok Steve, shut up for a minute, I know you think you’re the most important person in the world that everyone needs to hear, but meet Luana, she’s your new caretaker. And by caretaker, I mean she’ll take care of slapping you back into reality every now and then. Have fun, you two.
— Alex🔥 (@alexdeithwen) February 2, 2019
Ugh, no, can I just slap him once and leave?? I don’t want this job!
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1094995583541096451Finally a cool Steve to meet!!! Thank you, I’ll be the new black widow. This suits me fine.
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1091826260190347266WHAT???? I dIN’t aSk FoR ThIS, NO! Bye, Steve. See you never, Steve. Why aren’t you gone yet, Steve? Dang it, I have a problem…
I’m done with Steves… What would be a perfect pet for me? Real or fictional, either is fine.
You will change the world....you've been warned.
— Kristine Donahue (@KristineDonahu7) February 1, 2019
YASSSSS, you know me well 😁
Hmm... I'd say a Togedemaru.
— Corrin🩷💜💙 (@corrinleivan) February 5, 2019
Oh, it could easily pass as some sort of hamster. What does it eat, though?
A little red salamander☺️
— Mimi (@ChaosQueeny_999) February 5, 2019
Aahhhhhh, they’re so dragonish!!
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1092597403352555520I guess now I know what you’ll give me for Christmas… What’s the best day to leave the country, in your opinion? Asking for a friend.
Brightpaw. https://t.co/690WVbt4Er pic.twitter.com/szuB0aqHWQ
— Sunscented (@Sunscented) February 18, 2019
Looks like a wolf. Meaning, yes, I’ll take it.
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1094990551307485186WELL I WON’T SAY NO TO THAT!!
You need a pet rock to be cool
— Isaiah (@SwampydeHippo) February 5, 2019
They cost $19, I can’t 😭
Of course I wanted to say dragon but I'm not the first one with that, so I will say Tamagotchi 🙂
— Inga (@LadyOfBookland) February 9, 2019
Ooooh, the hardest creature to keep alive on this planet. This will be a good challenge.
A plant named Mr. Plant 🤣
— skully_ (@aghastlymistake) February 5, 2019
I'm so original I know lol
Yes! Here, I got it already. That’s Mr. Plant. I used to call it Nean, but… You make a convincing argument.
A dragon obviously.
— iris 🌈 (@IrisIsABlob) February 5, 2019
Obviously.
A sleepy woofer that snuggles you with a bear hug through the night pic.twitter.com/ChdfvddehG
— Alex🔥 (@alexdeithwen) February 5, 2019
AAAAHHHHHHHH, Alex, this is basically pledging your pup in public, you can’t take it back, okay??
Next up in this weird storyline… A prophecy’s been made about me. What is it?
You will change the world....you've been warned.
— Kristine Donahue (@KristineDonahu7) February 1, 2019
Ominous. I’m very concerned. There’s really nothing saying if it’ll be a good or bad change?? I need more information.
You are going to breathe
— Isaiah (@SwampydeHippo) February 1, 2019
Okay! Some good news. It’s all fine for now.
You will bake cookies for all your friends on twitter and make them very very happy.
— iris 🌈 (@IrisIsABlob) February 1, 2019
I will???? This sounds so much like a trap. I CAN’T TRUST YOU, IRIS!!! But like… Sure, come over, time for a cookie party 🍪🍪
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1091448791188865024Perfect, I’ve been wanting that, when’s it happening??
She shall call forth the lightening and all will mind link and be zombified. Then there will be dancing.
— Sunscented (@Sunscented) February 18, 2019
Oh, this explains so much… Does the zombie haze go away once we start dancing?? Because… Let’s start right now.
You're destined to find a bunny who will take over the world using baby carrots and lettuce, and to take care of her.
— Mimi (@ChaosQueeny_999) February 1, 2019
Is this… IS THIS HOW I CHANGE THE WORLD??
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1094997380020211713Sounds about right. Vive la révolution, or… something!
Well, I already saw someone's prophecy today, and Fate only tells me one every day, but I looked at yours on Wednesday... If you don't confess your crimes, you will die at the strike of midnight after Sunday. Also, for some reason, the timezones may not match up. No idea why.
— Corrin🩷💜💙 (@corrinleivan) February 1, 2019
Oh yeah? Crimes, you say? Just you wait. You asked for it.
What is my worst crime??? Tell me what I did. I want the details.
You stole someone’s heart and made unlawfully delicious cookies...
— Isaiah (@SwampydeHippo) February 6, 2019
The bodies your hiding in your closet are besides the point.
(Yes there are no details here)
Eeeeehhhh, yeah that sounds like something I would do. I better hide those bodies better…
You became a Phantom Thief of Hearts, then stole your sister's heart so she'd confess her crimes. In Persona 5, that's considered a crime. And no, I didn't take inspiration from Hippo because I didn't know what to write.
— Corrin🩷💜💙 (@corrinleivan) February 6, 2019
Come on now, I’m not *that* much of a heart thief. And I know all her crimes already, who do you think she committed them with??
I thought we agreed never to speak of this... ?
— Sunscented (@Sunscented) February 18, 2019
We did, we did… I’m sorry! It was just better if we didn’t both die before Sunday… Right?
You broke the most important law in the world: the law of physics. You have been observed walking on the ceiling, surviving drops from incredible heights with no injury, and cutting onions without crying. But the cops can’t find you cause you’re hiding behind the last digit of Pi
— Alex🔥 (@alexdeithwen) February 7, 2019
Oh, yeah. That’s what I do, every single day. I don’t need onions every single day, but what’s a day without onion chopping?? I’ll even mix it up now and then, and cut onions *while* dropping from a skyscraper. Exciting stuff.
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1093254405862944768
BOOK. DEALING. I’m… Very aware that I’m addicted, but, that sounds just like the kind of price you’d find where I live. Good thing I have this thriving black market business.
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1094989746198192128
It was my destiny, I had to!! I blame our buddy reads for everything. You’re a terrible influence, Loretta!!!! 😆
Being far too beautiful. Multiple casualties. People screaming as they melted in your wake.
— Lost 🍃 (@ticktockcrocky) February 7, 2019
Oh. My. Gosh. This is far worse than stealing hearts, I feel terrible, heeeeeelp 🙈
Plot twist! I’ve disappeared without a trace. No one knows what happened to me. WHAT do you do?
Act incredibly confused at first but then decide to go on with my life as normal 🤔
— Mimi (@ChaosQueeny_999) January 30, 2019
I can’t blame you, seems reasonable enough.
I’d use your disappearance as clickbait for a new blogpost series where I seem to attempt to solve the mystery (but never actually will, cause I’d want to keep the gravy train going).
— Alex🔥 (@alexdeithwen) January 30, 2019
Oooookay. I feel strangely forsaken, but… I’d want to read that.
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1090712865353465856
Are you sure that’ll be effective?? I’m not sure what you’re trying to accomplish here, but you’re going to scare your cats.
Make cookies.
— Sunscented (@Sunscented) February 18, 2019
I’ll *assume* this is you sensing I’m coming to visit, and not… Carrying on as usual…
(why did I never answer this) Read every post on your blog, then use the evidence you've given us there to deduce that you must've been killed by Cleverbot, who I would then kill only to discover that it was a fake and you were disguised as Cleverbot and then...
— Corrin🩷💜💙 (@corrinleivan) February 6, 2019
...I kill Cleverbot then says that the you disguised as Cleverbot was actually my sister so then I'd be happy that I killed my sister and you are still somehow alive on your planet/kingdom!
— Corrin🩷💜💙 (@corrinleivan) February 6, 2019
Here I am, thinking, finally someone’s trying to do something about it, and instead you almost kill a me that wasn’t really me, and I’m still nowhere to be found! Feeeeel my disappointment!
Check with my connections in the Italian mafia...
— Isaiah (@SwampydeHippo) January 30, 2019
YES! Everyone, the right thing to do. The right thing to do, everyone. Now you’re all well acquainted. Mafia firs, everything else later. (Say hi to my mafia fiance for me, will you??)
Okay, time to see if you really know your stuff, how did I build my dragon army??
With Legos.
— Corrin🩷💜💙 (@corrinleivan) February 11, 2019
Bahaha, brilliant. I’ll have to hit the Lego store soon, for… Expansions.
By befriending all the dragons obviously. And the asking them to as their friends for help too.
— iris 🌈 (@IrisIsABlob) February 7, 2019
Yes! The first one turned into a black cat that looks just like Toothless from How to Train Your Dragon. It guards the house when I’m gone.
With toothpicks and elmers glue.
— Sunscented (@Sunscented) February 18, 2019
It was painstakingly slow, and I’m not okay.
After many years of searching you finally found a dragon nest in the northern Atlantic sea. The dragons immediately took you in as there own. They’re very civilized and you can work your way up the ranks and you did until you vanquished their king and now controls their armies.
— Isaiah (@SwampydeHippo) February 7, 2019
In my defense!!!! Their king was lousy. Okay, that’s not a great defense… I’m sorry? It… had to be done??? The dragons love me for it!
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1093567590067257344Who says Japanese dragons aren’t real???? *Points at the Japanese dragon squad* My beauties here disagree.
After watching “Into the Spiderverse” you figured to get all the Spidey’s together and use their radioactive DNA to genetically engineer a dragon army. Miles Morales’ DNA created a lich dragon and Spider-Gwen’s made a glacial wyrm. With infitive universes, comes infitite dragons.
— Alex🔥 (@alexdeithwen) February 7, 2019
Yesssssss, that’s what. The spider-ham one didn’t work so well, it only eats potatoes… But we’re working on it.
You go to the land of Norway, find a chicken in the middle of the forest, you take the chicken and sacrifice that to the all mighty lord dragon Níðhǫggr and if he deems you worthy of the power to control the dragons, he'll let you gnaw at the roots of the world tree-Yggdrasil
— Mimi (@ChaosQueeny_999) February 7, 2019
😳😳😳😳😳😳 How poisonous was the tree?? I don’t recall ANY of this!
Alright, surprise me. What would be my most shocking plot twist? Other than… Disappearing without a trace…
The villain you've been fighting... is actually you as a sleepwalking ninja!
— iris 🌈 (@IrisIsABlob) February 3, 2019
Oh. Okay. I’m giving myself bruises while I sleep. Of all the things I could be doing instead…!! And I’m…!! Fighting myself!! This is so unproductive.
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1092165057222455296I MURDER MY TWIN?? Over dishes??? With a flip flop???? Nope. Don’t like this. Make it something else.
You’re actually not a bookdragon, but a bookdrake cause you only have four limbs and no wings
— Alex🔥 (@alexdeithwen) February 3, 2019
Aw, come on. Don’t cut my wings like this, how am I going to set clouds on fire now?
Rocks fall. Everyone dies.
— Sunscented (@Sunscented) February 18, 2019
I did NOT see that coming!!!
You actually marry your twin and he turns out to literally be your biological twin...
— Isaiah (@SwampydeHippo) February 3, 2019
Hey you asked for shocking
😂
*Panicked breathing* YoU cAn’T LiSTeN tO aUtOmaTicALLy GeNErATeD CoMmEnTs, Zay, the bots are psychopaths!! (I’m sorry, this won’t make sense to anyone but him 😬)
You're an alie- Wait no, we know that... Hmm... You were doing these questions for something besides a blog post!
— Corrin🩷💜💙 (@corrinleivan) February 3, 2019
Yes. I did it for kicks. It was outrageously fun. Now about the alien thing, we need to talk…
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1094993165315198976N000000000OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooo…!!! Excuse me, I need to go find some ice cream 😭
Ah well, that’s enough tragedies, let’s go for some fun stuff… What is *one* thing I should really, really do?
A leap of faith into a field of shamrocks
— Alex🔥 (@alexdeithwen) January 29, 2019
*googling Irish shamrock fields to leap in*
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1090724463451258881Do you think I can find them in the field of shamrocks? Since, you know, I’m going to be leaping there for a bit…
Leave Brazil 😋
— Isaiah (@SwampydeHippo) January 29, 2019
No worries. It’s in my prophecy, it’s happening!
Wash your hair.
— Sunscented (@Sunscented) February 18, 2019
What? Why?? Is it… Is it dirty? Is there something on it??
Stop blogging 😉
— Corrin🩷💜💙 (@corrinleivan) January 29, 2019
EXCUSE ME????????????????????????????????????????????? Out. Get out of here. Shoo.
Go dancing with the nymphs on the midsummers eve
— Mimi (@ChaosQueeny_999) January 30, 2019
Brilliant, I’m coming barefoot in a sundress.
Read the rest of Schwab's books. And also eat chocolate.
— iris 🌈 (@IrisIsABlob) January 28, 2019
Chocolate and V.E. Schwab?? Iiiiii have no complaints here, when do I start??
And, that seems to be just about everything, so on to the biggest, most serious question… How do I die???
You read a book so complicated you can’t wrap your brain around it, so you decided to surgically insert the book into your brain so you can... suddenly you understand everything perfectly, and then you trip over a knife.
— Isaiah (@SwampydeHippo) February 9, 2019
Sigh, knowledge can’t save you from the clumsy. Does anyone want my dagger collection? I find it dangerous to keep it right now. It’s… Temporary.
You realize the secret to life, make a blog post, then die while pressing the publish button. Then there's a power outage.
— Corrin🩷💜💙 (@corrinleivan) February 7, 2019
So tragic. My death makes the world go dark. *little snort at how dramatic that is*
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1093642445714309120Aww, that’s nice! But with the kind of life you’ve all given me?? VERY UNLIKELY.
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1093690464123924481I LAY AN EGG IN THE OCEAN??? Oh my gosh, please remind me to never fly to Cuba. I can’t… Deal with this. Agh.
https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1093643458655461376Oh, the pain! It hurts double, with the quills and the betrayal. I need to mourn myself now.
https://t.co/PKbZxzQXaD
— Sunscented (@Sunscented) February 18, 2019
Also... we are linked. So... I die too. 😞 pic.twitter.com/Yq7w6L1AmM
Lack… Of sleep… We’re so doomed 😳
You suddenly decide to get behind the wheel of a car despite not having a licence. That car explodes, ripping your flesh apart and burning it to crisp. BUT PLOT TWIST, you were just faking your own death to escape some random bald dude.
— Alex🔥 (@alexdeithwen) February 8, 2019
Later you die doing the bird box challenge.
There are so many bad life choices involved here. Tell the bald guy I never want to see him again. I’m… I’m wearing a blindfold. Okay, this makes a lot of sense now… Yikes.
You don't. You are immortal.
— iris 🌈 (@IrisIsABlob) February 7, 2019
THANK YOU, SOMEONE WHO WOULDN’T KILL ME! ME. Now our battle of evil will go on forever. Do you… Have enough chocolate saved up??
And thaaaaat’s it for the wild ride! You all seem to think I’m either a superhero or a heartless villain, so I’m obviously pleased. Now go on and eat some dragonday pizza! And remember that Oreos won’t make you young. Neither will fairy souls. Let the poor fairies live. Pizza is enough.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA THIS POST IS AMAZING! 😂😂 (Don’t mind me, reading it almost a month late…)(Ummm… happy very very belated birthday? :P)
And no I do not have enough chocolate saved up, we should start working on that.
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THANKS TO YOUUUU!! 😂 And thank you, yes, that gives me an excuse to celebrate again for a minute.
Let’s fill those chocolate stashes!!
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