Ho Ho Ho, Merry Chris--- This Santa suit's too big on me, isn't it? One sec, let me fix that before we go on... Okay, okay, happy summery Christmas from the end of the world, which is totally where I'm at right now, wearing a... swimsuit. If this seems oddly Christmasy to you, it's probably... Continue Reading →
Ah, yes, it's that time again when I explain why you were forced to forget about me by mysterious hooded figures in the night. It's kind of a funny story, okay? I had to be away for a while with no warning - you know, it happens - and I didn't want you to worry too much... Continue Reading →
Look at you, all ready to be weirded out! If you know what this is about, then let me tell you: you've stuck by me for over a year, and are probably insane. Which is... PERFECT. Rampant crazy is the best thing to spook the kiddos. And it's Halloween, we're allowed to spook the kiddos.... Continue Reading →
I hope you come ready for battle, because battle you shall find. It is time to test blogging skills, defy common sense, and find the best tricksters amongst us, the sketchiest shapeshifters, the craziest arsonists, the ones who will take over the land in the middle of the raging night of---- !!!! Um, okay, that's... Continue Reading →
Say bye to the sunny skies, there's a storm coming. We're expecting a little chain of natural disasters to hit us soon, so I would like to suggest you grab your umbrellas before ALL CRAZY BREAKS LOSE, YOUR SOCKS GET SOAKED, AND A FLOOD BREAKS ALL YOUR GARDEN GNOMES. It... It won't be pleasant... I... Continue Reading →
As I have mentioned publicly in the past, one of my least horrible secrets is the makeshift prison I keep in my basement. Ya know, the one for all the bloggers who’ve said “lookit, something cool for you to post”, and were immediately filed under “this is something I want to do sometime, someday, ... Continue Reading →
*Taps the mic* Is this thing on? No? Okay, we don't need it, I'll just scream from the top of this statue. Here's the thing. This isn't a regular post, and in a couple days, it'll have disappeared from the face of the planet. But some stuff needs to be known right now. So if... Continue Reading →
Okay, I've done it again. I attacked someone with random questions. And then I wrote down a crazy post title. And now everyone's confused. What on earth are we cuddling, and who is this mysterious Lady of Haru?? But stop being so impatient, will you? It's not like it's been a month since my last... Continue Reading →
Welcome to the twitchy glade, greenies. I hope this is where the Maze Runner reference ends... Wouldn't want you to get killed by a Griever. Watch your back just in case. As a few of you may know, a couple months ago I sent an essay to Clover Letter, talking about how I found out... Continue Reading →
Sometimes my phone acts like a creep with a mind of its own. It says "Hey, Luana, you got through the day!" after I've had a rough one. Tries to put fictitious Mexican restaurants in my reminders to convince me to eat tamales... And shows threatening black clouds of death on the weather app on... Continue Reading →
For the sake of mystery, you must know, I have many dark secrets. And I'm aware that sounds like nonsense, BUT, 1) there's stuff about me you'd have never guessed, and 2) that stuff is lurking with me in the shadows of this dark room, which makes it some kind of dark and nefarious. Nevermind... Continue Reading →
Weird books can be pretty awesome. What a shocking thing for someone as normal as me to say, I know, but hang on. I'll give you examples. You need to know exactly what kind of thing I'm talking about. My Lady Jane is completely insane... And hilarious. There's just something about horse weddings that makes... Continue Reading →
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